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Who is in charge here, anyway?

Me: Stop pulling.

Little Dog: Must pull. MUST PULL.

Me: Untrue. When we walk without Z, you are sweet and mellow.

Little Dog: He refuses to walk in formation.

Me: He’s a child.

Little Dog: It’s anathema to everything I believe in.

Me: You’ve never walked in a formation in your life.

Little Dog:  I’m not a member of the herd, so that’s really not my job, is it now?

Me: Stop pulling!

Little Dog: Also, I hate it when he’s ahead of me.  He’s a little human. No, a micro human. He can’t even adequately use a fork.

Z: I can too use a fork!

Little Dog: Micro humans have no business leading.  Make him stop that. Stop it, micro human!

Me: You never used to do this when Big Dog was around.

Little Dog: I didn’t have to. Big Dog never let micro human walk in front. I’m a failure as a pack leader.

Me: Since when do you care about things like pack leaders?

Little Dog: Since Big Dog died.

Me: Also, I’m the pack leader.

Little Dog: Har har.

Me: Well, it isn’t you.

Little Dog: Is so.

Me: Har har.

Little Dog: I am canine, hear me roar.

Z: Look at me, look at me! I’m already at the corner!

Little Dog:  Are we really going to let the micro human take the lead.  WE ARE NOT!

Me:  Wait a minute…

Little Dog:  It’s go time, people!

Me:  Stop!

Little Dog:  CHARGE!



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