Me: Little Dog, go pee.

Little Dog: Nope.

Me: Yep.

Little Dog: Nope.

Me: Why not?

Little Dog: It’s raining.

Me: So?

Little Dog: So I’ll hold it.

Me: You haven’t gone since this morning.

Little Dog: Wrong. I haven’t gone since last night.

Me: Why not?

Little Dog: I hate getting my feet wet. You know that.

Me: Look, at some point…

Little Dog: Let me just cut you off right there. I’m not going out in the rain.

Me: I’m worried you’ll make yourself sick.

Little Dog: I’ve got a plan.

Me: What’s that?

Little Dog: The grandmother visits on Tuesdays.

Me: And?

Little Dog: And it’s Tuesday.

Me: So?

Little Dog: So, when she walks in the door, I’m going to get excited.

Me: As you do.

Little Dog: In fact, I’m going to get so “excited” that I accidentally lose control of my bladder.

Me: Wait a minute.

Little Dog: You know me. Sometimes it happens.

Me: Do not pee on the floor.

Little Dog: As I said, I’ve got this covered.