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Little Dog Meets the Grandparents’ Dogs

Little Dog: Man, I’m glad we’re finally here. May we never camp again.

Me: Big Dog seemed to like it. And we did buy that tent.

Little Dog: Shut your mouth right now.

Me: I feel I should warn you – the grandparents have some dogs…

Little Dog: Dogs? I love dogs! And I love grandparents! And…where are we?

Me: Irvine.

Little Dog: And Irvine! I love Irvine!

Me: Really?

Little Dog: Don’t you love Irvine?

Me: I mean, it’s Irvine, so…

Little Dog: So?

Me: So does anybody really love Irvine?

Little Dog: You’re such a Debbie Downer. Irvine’s great! It’s got houses! And strip malls! And MORE houses! What’s not to like?

Me: What indeed.

Little Dog: When do I get to meet these new dogs? I love Big Dog, she’s awesome, but sometimes her conversation is a little unvaried, you know?

Me: Yeah, about that…

Little Dog: It’s all “mailman” this and “dinner” that. I mean, I like dinner as much as the next person, and I agree, the letter carrier has her qualities, but sometimes you just want to talk about the weather, or the mats behind your ears, or the state of the economy…

Me: Here they come now. I gotta warn you, though…

Little Dog: Hello, new dogs! What a pleasure! I can’t wait to get better acquainted!

Black Dog 1: Derp.

Little Dog: Right, so let’s get down to it. I spent last night in a tent, with all the horrors that that entails, and now I’m ready to party. What do you guys do for fun? I like games.

Black Dog 1: Derp.

Little Dog: Scrabble? Parcheesi?

Black Dog 2: Derp derp.

Little Dog: Or maybe tug? Some people think it’s passé, but I say it’s stood the test of time for a reason.

Black Dog 1: Derp.

Black Dog 2: Derp derp.

Little Dog: So, maybe not games.  How about taking a stroll together?  I see you have a lovely yard.

Black Dog 1: Derp.

Black Dog 2: Derp derp.

Black Dog 1: Derp. Derp. Derp.

Black Dog 2: Derp derp derp derp derp.

Little Dog: You were going to warn me of something a few minutes ago.

Me: Yeah, about the grandparents’ dogs…

Little Dog: They’re dumb?

Me: Pretty dumb.

Little Dog: For a minute there I was worried I was on Candid Camera.

Me: So, let’s go find Big Dog?

Little Dog: I bet she’s got some scintillating insights into dinner.

3 Comments

    • I’m glad it makes you smile. I’ve got to be honest, Lee – I never thought I was particularly funny. It has been a pleasant surprise that people enjoy these dog sketches.

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