Me: Please stop making that noise.
Little Dog: I am dissatisfied.
Me: I would like to sleep.
Little Dog: This is what dissatisfies me.
Me: It’s 4:00 in the morning.
Little Dog: I think if we could just get closer, I would feel better.
Me: That’s what Big Dog is for.
Little Dog: Big Dog is hiding under the bed.
Me: Wait, why?
Big Dog: There is something on the ceiling.
Me: You mean the fan?
Big Dog: I do not like it.
Me: It won’t hurt you, Big Dog, I promise.
Big Dog: You’re a nice lady, but I don’t trust you.
Me: Little Dog, maybe you could get under the bed with Big Dog.
Little Dog: You know how I feel about enclosed spaces.
Me: Okay, well, Big Dog, maybe you would feel better sleeping next to Little Dog’s crate.
Big Dog: There is something on the ceiling. I do not like it.
Little Dog: I guess we’re at an impasse. But hey, good news – we’re all awake, and we’ve got an hour before Z gets up. This gives us lots of time to talk politics, or the weather, or movies, or …
Me: I am so dissatisfied.