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Little Dog Escalates

Little Dog: Don’t you fall asleep on this couch.  It’s bad for you.

Me:  I’m an adult.  I’ll do whatever I damn well want.

Little Dog:  As long as it’s not sleeping on this couch, I’m on board with that.

Me: Go away.

Little Dog:  Commencing The Stare.

Me: I hate The Stare.

Little Dog:  Creepy yet effective, amirite?

Me: Not when my eyes are closed.

Little Dog:  But there’s more.  Commencing the Nose Bump.

Me:  Wait, what’s this all over my pants?

Little Dog:  Two parts slobber, one part snot.  Hang on.  I’m going to start keening now.

Me: Stop that!  You could wake up the kid.  Or the neighbor’s kid!  What’s wrong with you?

Little Dog:  I find my moves work better when I vocalize.

Me:  You’re obnoxious but I’m not going to lie, you have mad skills.

Little Dog: Maybe you should consider changing your soggy pants.  Before you get into bed.   Or not.  I still haven’t had a chance to stick my wet nose in your ear.  Which is totally my favorite.  Are you ready for it?

Me:  Fine.  Fine.  I’m up.

Little Dog:  We’re a great team.









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