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On the Importance of Vigilance

Little Dog: Whatcha doing, Big Dog? I was going to chew up a table leg, or maybe eat something of the kid’s, but if you’ve got something better…

Big Dog: I am waiting for the mailman. I hate him.

Little Dog. Her.

Big Dog: I hate him.

Little Dog: She could have already been here. You could be waiting for nothing.

Big Dog: I hate him.

Little Dog: Her.

Big Dog: I will get you, mailman.

Little Dog: Yeah, I think I’m gonna go work on that table leg. Let me know if anything pans out.

Big Dog: MAILMAN! MAILMAN! HE’S HERE! I CAUGHT HIM!

Little Dog: Her.

Big Dog: AS SOON AS I BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR I AM COMING FOR YOU MAILMAN!

Tree Trimmer: Jesus.

Me: Holy cow, what’s going on out here?

Little Dog: Something about the mailman.

Big Dog: I WILL GET YOU MAILMAN!

Me: Dogs, get in the back.

Little Dog: Okay.

Big Dog: NO!

Me: Yes.

Big Dog: NO!

Me: Yes.

Big Dog: MAKE ME!

Me: Fine.

Big Dog: THIS IS NOT THE END! YOU WILL BE VANQUISHED, MAILMAN!

Tree Trimmer: Wow, your dog is scary.

Me: You’d feel better about her if you saw her with the vacuum cleaner.

Tree Trimmer. I just need to get into your back yard…but only if that dog’s not going to be back there.

Me: The only thing you need to be scared of back there is the sheer volume of dog poop.

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  1. Pingback: The Dogs Attempt a Webcomic via Fiverr - Whistling Far and Wee

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